Valentine's Day came and went without much of anything. I did get awoken by Caitlyn throwing the door to my room open and yelling "crappy Valentine's day!" I would have been annoyed had this not been followed by her thrusting a lovely wrapped present in my face. And it was a perfect cheer me up video that I would have never purchased for myself. And of course, the card was quite appropriate. The JoBros told me I rocked on Valentine's Day. I mean...first thing in the morning. Aside from Kevin's wife who else can say that?
But enough of the Jonas Brothers. The past few days have brought up a lot of difficult questions for myself and for Caitlyn. Well I suppose the whole family really. And I find that instead of running away from trying to answer the questions, this time...I'm ready to openly and honestly look at what each question means to and for me.
I was recently texting with a friend about how all the friends I have from college and high school are engaged, married, or already with a family of their own. I on the other hand, have nobody. He is single as well...so after I proposed to him of course, we got down to discussing the need to grow up before we were ready to start that phase of our lives. I asked him how I knew if I was ever fully grown. His answer has caused me to think on it for the last few days. He told me that he guesses we never really know we just have to trust that we did the best we could.
And I think he's right. I probably will never grow out of my love for the Disney Channel or the need to laugh at fart and penis jokes (yes I'm 25 and I still think they're funny). But I guess that maybe the things I've been seeing as stumbling blocks to growth are really just the quirks that keep me from taking myself too seriously. And that my true growth is occurring on the inside. For example I may have a Business degree and still go to work in tee shirt...but at the same time...I'm finally working towards my future. I'm working for an apartment. For a better car. For a house one day. And hopefully a little of this money will eventually go into a wedding.
My priorities have changed. However, what has not changed is the essence of who I am. I don't just work anymore to afford the newest and must have lip gloss (though I mean...I love to splurge when I can). And I think I'm on the road to becoming a grown-up. And I just have to trust that I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. And isn't that what it's all about?
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Sweetie, being a grown-up doesn't mean giving up who you are now. You were BORN being the BRILLANT, FABULOUS girly-girl you were at 3 and at 9 and at 17 and at every second in between and I pray you never loose that! Being a grown-up means making the hard choices, like doing what is right instead of what is easy. It means living for the future, not just for today. You've been behaving like a grown-up for a while now.
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